Chronologically, I ache and exclaim

I encounter an era where stars

Are deteriorating fast 

Poets say funeral is more beautiful than death

So I guess I need to learn

How to appreciate darkness

& Stitch up the blind vastness

Yet I’ve only read burial of light in books

Still I’ve dreamed about harvesting fables

Out in the open fields

& Worship flames and fireflies 

Embedded in memories

On those nights that I cannot easily fall asleep

Nor can I be blissfully illuminated

I happened to be born in Anthropocene where we

Are eroding all our waters

Standing by the shore of humanity, my youth

& Genetics are painted foggy

I have rusted veins slithering in my body

With inherited nameless granules

& Shabby lungs – In this life

I awake, inhale & beat on

Via clean waves and a clear origin 

I guess I need to revise the content of my breaths

To envision also: one day my skin will wrinkle 

As winds do, as rivers do,

Like a drought I slouch

Along my dehydrated wishes irrigating this body, 

My scars and tears will be blazed and glazed

I live in a time where I 

Can never regulate the population

Of my indecisions and fears

I mature and wilt in the horde of news

We graze on our rocks and equator

To get horrors, rumors, tragedies 

Polished and published

I can never answer why are you crying

Or what do you want

For we are obsessed with exploiting pains

& Greed unwasted unexplained yet inevitable

Like foliage and oxygen descending, 

Fragilely I witness how we are skilled

To turn on light, without adapting

To the absence of the torch

I pray without a Bible written in ink

Yet imprinted in blood veins, pulsing:

That vitality is here to be recycled

That hope is there to replace despair

I dwell in a life where my life

Heat fluctuates all the time

I’m scheduled to spend my days

Even when my wood-based life 

& Hand-written dreams are not ready

Still – I cherish

The climate of poetry, botany, and living entity

& Still, I appreciate 

Tropical days, tropical desires, and tropical nightmares

I’m scared of beginnings, so I 

Cited my childhood, my mountains, and my struggles

On the very front page of my diary

I carve for endings cultivated

Inch by inch, land by land

Even though I’m destiny-less, wound-less

& Winter-less

In this century that I’m 

Doomed to shiver, doomed to shimmer

And doomed to be blessed 

Someday not sure if it’s far away

2021.10.8-10